Field Personel Orientation (FPO)

Wow! They weren't kidding when they told us to "expect intense!" We're two days into an 8-week FPO and I'm exhausted. Yet it's an amazing experience at the same time...funny how often God works with that dichotomy. We're being stretched spiritually, pushed into more reflection, prayer, and focus than we've had time to do before, and being held accountable for growth at every turn. I want to cry, and then I'm deeply grateful, and then I want to rebel all in a whirlwind cycle of emotions every minute or so!

We've been on this campus before, and we had awesome times visiting and sharing until all hours of the night. Of course, that was without kids. I'm finding it much more difficult with the three little ones. Anya and Ethan love their teachers and their new class-mates and are so excited to have friends again, but they're showing some signs of stress too. Not eating the food, resisting bed-time, ignoring rules, bickering. Nothing the other 100+ kids aren't doing too, but tiring all the same. Isaac is back to full health, but has decided a good bedtime would be midnight as well as eating at least once in the middle of the night (3am seems to be his preference). It's also very exhausting for me to run back and forth trying to focus during class and then feeding him every 2.5-3 hours. I'm missing a lot, and I'm always on the go...feeding during lunch and missing the breaks and the times when everyone else is visiting and debriefing. When I do have a moment of down-time, I'm having trouble focusing on prayer or meditation because I'm so tired I fall asleep.

But our tiny living area seems HUGE compared to our families' spare rooms for the last 2 months (as much as we loved being with them!). We have our own washer and dryer, and we eat in the cafeteria so I don't have to cook a single meal (of course, imagine trying to herd 250 people (half of them kids!) through a cafeteria line without dropping a tray or stepping on a small child...I'm really ready for a nap by the time we sit down with our food!) We have accountability partners praying for us, a team of prayer-walkers on campus every day praying for us, and a whole lot of people going through the exact same emotions at the exact same time. There's no doubt that it's hard, but I am convinced 99% of the time that I wouldn't trade this time and experience for anything. Just keep praying for the 1% when I want to run away screaming and crying!