The Fallacy of Pregnancy

This is my third pregnancy. You'd think I would have my facts straight by now. But I developed this theory when I was pregnant with Ethan, called the fallacy of pregnancy, and it's creeping back into my mind. Someday I may be a famous expert on the topic and you'll see me doing interviews on the talk-show circuit, so remember that you read it here first! The fallacy of pregnancy is simply this: at some point near the end of a pregnancy, the woman becomes convinced that life will be easier once the baby's born. It's what gets us through labor, really. I find myself thinking I'll finally sleep better. I won't be so uncomfortable. I'll be back to "normal". And yet, what's easier about feeding a hungry baby every 2-3 hours? And my right leg may not go numb when sleeping, but is that better than being woken up every few hours? I hear they do that to prisoners-of-war to break their spirits, and I believe it! My back may not be as stressed, but it sure is easier to do things with both hands free compared to holding a baby, even with a sling or a Snuggli.

This was hit home one day as I was walking through a store, feeling large and awkward and perhaps a little sorry for myself. I passed a couple pushing a stroller holding a very very small baby...likely only a few weeks old. Their eyes were glazed over, their feet shuffled, and he said to me, "We'll trade you!" with a feeble smile.

I have 2 1/2 weeks left before my due date (incidentally, the same as the number of shopping days before Christmas...I hear the daily reminders from radio and TV!) and I still feel like that's an eternity. Every gas pain, every time he kicks my bladder I wonder, "is this it?" My head knows that I should be enjoying this time of rest and relaxation, where the four of us are hanging out together 7 days a week with no responsibilities. I've read 4 books and made home-cooked meals every night. I'm caught up on laundry, our suitcases are packed...some for Virginia, some for Malawi, we've spent hours at the park playing and walking. And still I long for him to be born. Once he is, I'm sure I'll have moments of tears, when I'll want to put him back and then sleep luxuriously all the way until I have to pee at 4am again, sciatica and all. And yet, is there anything sweeter than holding your new-born baby? Any better proof of God's miracles than birth?

It may be a fallacy that life will get easier. But when is life ever easy? Maybe it's not about ease. Maybe it's all about sweetness, a sense of "rightness" in life. And it feels right that we have this baby, that our family will grow to 5, that we get to know the owner of the bony bottom and sharp elbows that keep jabbing me in the ribs. And so, despite night feedings and exhaustion and endless diapers, I still say, "Bring it on!" and I laugh in the face of the fallacy of pregnancy.