Finding Faith in the Battle

The emotions of packing up and leaving have made my mind raw, and I’ve had random crying spells sprinkled in among times of profound gratitude. There’s nothing quite like loss to make you appreciate what God has gifted. And there really is a sense of loss—a counselor once explained that it’s called “Ambiguous Grief” because no one has actually died and in theory we can always come back and see people again. It’s not the same as when my dad died back in 2016. But we all know it won’t be exactly the same ever again, even when we do come back, and until then Kenya is really far away and FaceTime is not the same as face time. But I digress.  After an amazing week in Oregon, we are now back in Central Ohio for our last hurrah, hanging out with our adult kids. And when people say adult kids are the best, they aren’t kidding! Anya and Everett are killing this adulting thing, hosting Omara and Isaac and feeding us all for the week. Anya even woke up early and made a gluten-free lunch out o...

"Please help our son pull himself together so we can be back to Kenya!" It was a heart-wrenching prayer that started back on December 5, 2015. Counselors had just informed us that he needed more than we could get in Nairobi. It triggered a road of bewilderment and step-by-step following through some of the most twisted and confusing paths that we've ever walked. Chad cried out, one day, "We just played hard all season, and now we're being benched for the big game! It makes no sense!" "Please, give us the tools to help our son thrive in Kenya!" The crooked path took us to Raleigh, NC, a place where we had zero connections. A place where God provided a community, great schools, great counselors, and healing in areas we didn't even realize we were sick. It helped us cry out an equally heart-wrenching prayer that showed our growing understanding of our son's needs; understanding that he wasn't acting out of spite or purpose or sabotag...

I re-read my latest blog, The Crooked Path , and wondered if I did a disservice to the missionary struggle by not "showing my work" from the months leading up to this point! The last thing I want to imply is that we're trying to decide if we want to go back to Kenya, or suggest that we're asking God if He's released us from Kenya because it's hard there and we're done. Our hearts are in Kenya. We love the people. We love our jobs. We love our co-workers. We love being given a part to play in what God wants to accomplish there. In some ways, it feels like we were MADE for it! Of course there are hard parts about it--have I ever mentioned the traffic?--but there are also so many blessings and gifts, and it's home . So why the crooked path? Why the questions? Do you remember reading my thoughts on calling and how it was time to put my money where my mouth is? It's been awhile, for sure. For those who aren't sitting on the couch hanging o...