Finding Faith in the Battle

I intentionally set my expectations low for my 40th, given that we are in the midst of high-stress transition, far from family and close friends. When things started out so good (sleep, flowers, chocolate caramels, lunch with new friends...I mean, really!) I felt down-right chipper and let it go to my head. Then the phone call came. All you parents with children who struggle at school know the dreaded phone call. Kids were in his face pushing him about why he wasn't doing his work. He ignored them. They pushed harder. The teachers did nothing. He responded with a "fun-fact" that was interpreted as a threat. The principal agreed that it wasn't really a threat, but he "had to" give at least a 1-day suspension. We weren't upset at our poor kid--we gave hugs and love and reassurance. But it didn't matter. The 12-eyed beast otherwise-known-as-shame had already set up house, and it managed to suck us all into that place of tension and angst. I was a

The amazing thing about life is that it keeps on going, no matter what it leaves in it's wake. Peaceful blissful times move on; confusing painful times move on. My big 4-0 came and went in the middle of everything else going on. It seemed strange to be celebrating when so much is uncertain, but it's not every day you become a quadragenarian! I enjoyed the first half of the day very much; sleeping in while Chad got the kids to school, having unexpected chocolate and flowers arrive from coworkers, and a lunch with sweet new friends. Then school got out and life whacked me back into reality. I had no idea that asking my kids for a group photo with them would be such an unreasonable request! But there it is again. Bedtime finally arrived, life moved on. And I got a chance to celebrate again on Saturday with U-pick strawberries with happy kids and a good friend, and again on Monday when the kids went back to school and Chad and I could have a real date at The Cheesecake Factory!